If you received an invitation to a traditional Japanese wedding, or if you are very curious to find out more about wedding traditions in general, you will find that there are some wonderful things about a Japanese wedding ceremony that set it apart from other similar occasions. A Japanese wedding might be Buddhist, Shinto, or Christian in nature, or it might be specifically non-religious. The style of a wedding often has more to do with the couple’s tastes than their religious beliefs.
Traditional Japanese weddings are named Shinto style weddings; these ceremonies are private, and are held in shrines. Only close family members will attend the ceremony, although there usually will be an older couple attending too, to take on the role of the matchmaker. The ceremony consists of rituals that include drinking sake, and in more modern context, the exchange of wedding rings. The bride and groom’s families will exchange drinks of sake as well to show that the two families are now as one. Japanese brides wear a shiromuku, a white kimono, for wedding dresses, while the grooms will wear montsuki, a formal black kimono, and the wide legged trousers known as hakama.
After the service at the Shinto shrine, there usually follows a reception party, where the extended family, friends and co-workers of the couple will gather to celebrate the wedding. Guests typically dress formally, and it is common to see women wearing suits as well as kimono to this event.
An invitation to a Japanese wedding should be replied to as soon as possible and one should not forget that a gift of cash is very essential. There may be a specific sum on the invitation, but if not, you can decide how much to give based on how close you are to the happy couple; the closer you are to them, the more you are expected to give. The cash, ideally in crisp new bills, is put into an envelope, known as a shugi-bukuro, and the name of the giver is written carefully on the front. The guests even get a gift at a Japanese wedding, usually a memento known as hikidemono is given, and nowadays guests would be allowed to select their gift from a catalogue.
The wedding reception itself is typically a very entertaining event, with the bride and groom seated on a stage and many participants singing celebratory or congratulatory songs for them. There is usually a Western style wedding cake and in most cases the couple will stroll around the room to light candles and to talk to the guests. Rather than staying in their formal wedding dress, the bride will likely change into a less formal kimono.
A Japanese wedding can take styles from many different cultures and traditions, and it is just as possible to see Japanese brides wearing elegant Western wedding dresses as it is to see them in a formal white kimono and elaborate headdress. When invited to a Japanese wedding, a good idea would be to ask what is appropriate and what the couple’s expectations are from the guests. No matter what part of the world you may come from, you will find that a wedding is a means to celebrate with a loving couple their happiness and joy.
