What do you want and how to ask about it? Many are able to speak about the desires when are quiet, an another matter when quarrel and relations are heated. If you have deduced from yourself, and you continue to carry on negotiations can reach much in relations. The psychology is simple: at first understand, then formulate and, at last, ask! Such behavior will help you to make your relations better and to get your ex back if you really need it.

Resulted below the recommendation will help you to learn to ask that you want, even being in an emotional condition.

1. Begin with yourself, objectively describe a problem or behavior. When you are angered and stridently shout, define for yourself that you would like to state: the request, desire, insult.

2. Share with your partner the relation to an event – “I was frightened in the same way, as in the childhood when the father shouted at me”.

3. Describe results of influence of a problem on you and features of your reactions to interpersonal relations: “I wish to escape from you and to hide”.

4. Attention! Stop for a minute and listen to response of the partner and his or her perception of the conflict. Do not dare to stick at this stage in protection, charge or a conflict aggravation. Stop exactly so, how many it is required to understand yourself and to hear will and desires of another.

5. Clearly formulate that you want from the man or the woman. For example, “I want, that you did not shout, and expressed the anger in such words:” I am malicious “.

6. Try to clear up relations and accurately ask the partner: “Explain to me better because of what you are angry, instead of shout at me.”

7. Discuss, whether there are distinctions meanwhile that you wish and ask, and that your partner is ready to give or make. “It is necessary for me to exhaust, when I am in anger, and I would like to have possibility to raise the voice.” “It is good, I presume to raise the voice to you if it is not directed against me.”

8. If at interpersonal relations there is a misunderstanding, and you cannot discuss a disagreement, agree that you have clashes of opinions. “I see that we cannot come to the consent in this question, and I accept our disagreements. You recognize our clashes of opinions?”

9. If disagreements are essentially insuperable, and interpersonal relations stop, note it any ritual of end. Write the letter in which formulates the representations about insoluble contradictions in your interpersonal relations without charges and reproaches, considering yourself and other person from the good side. You cannot send this letter or even to burn it.

First three stages connected with considering, feeling and a reflexion, it is not enough. If you stop on it will look, most likely, dissatisfied as though all have understood, but have made nothing, and the requirements have not satisfied. Stages from the fourth on the seventh are connected with action. They demand, that you have clearly formulated the desires, and then have asked about it. They also encourage open dialogue with the partner for the purpose of definition of disagreements in interpersonal relations and their settling.

The stage of the eighth is comprehensible as a compromise way of resolution of conflicts with the partner who does not wish to resolve the conflict. Sometimes “the agreement on disagreements” leaves feeling of incompleteness or a certain uncertainty, therefore a stage the ninth allows to put an end and to be released from disputed relations.

It is almost impossible to escape the cases when you face the how to get your ex back situation. The biggest mistake here is that people think too seriously about how to get your ex back, instead of putting this whole situation in another way. It is not about how to get your ex back, really. It is about how to make it interesting again.

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