You thought you're the most unlikely person to ask that question but here you are, faced with the sad truth of your marriage leading to a failure. There's nothing else you can do but to accept and find a solution for you and your partner's conflict.
1st Rule of How to Save a Marriage is to Admit your Guilt
Admit your faults and shortcomings. It's really difficult to do that for someone especially if faithfulness comes in issue. Perhaps, nothing hurts your spouse more than for you to be unfaithful to her or him, yet, you shouldn't let that cause your marriage to end.
How to save a marriage after unfaithfulness?
It begins with being honest with yourself and your spouse. Look for reasons why you've been unfaithful even though you knew it would hurt your partner badly. What led you to be unfaithful? Maybe, you find yourself attracted to the other person and you simply cannot refuse. That certainly couldn't be the only reason. Or perhaps, that person offered you something that you don't receive from your spouse.
Additionally, admitting your mistake to yourself is one thing. Admitting it to your partner is a different story. And it's not that easy. It has never been like that. But if your marriage is really significant to you, you need to take courage to do it and be prepared for the annoyance and accusations from your spouse. It's the only way to go about this. While it can be very hurtful, it's also a necessary part of saving a marriage after unfaithfulness.
Anger and disappointment are all normal in times circumstances like this so you can expect to receive rough words from your partner. Accept the fact that those are all a part of it and don't argue back. Keep in mind that you are trying to save your marriage from heading to a dead end and defending yourself will do more hurt than good.
The perfect time and place is also essential in how to save a marriage after your misdeed. Before everything else, you should talk things through at length and in complete privacy. The bedroom is a good place to start, but you definitely don't want such an important room to always remind your partner of your hurtful unfaithfulness.
As for the appropriate time, do understand that your revelation will definitely surprise and hurt her or his feelings and there is really no right time for situations like this. But you can be careful and receptive when it comes to your partner's mind frame. Make sure there's no significant event taking place at the moment like pregnancy or impending job promotion or that it's an extremely downtime due to sickness or death of a loved one. Affairs like those can bring a heavier burden on your partner and further problems will only increase the pressure.
Lastly, understand that your wrongful act is small because it's definitely not. Arguably, it will make a dent on you and your partner's relationship and your partner may find it hard to forgive and forget. Infidelity is not only an immoral act. It is a severe breach of trust. You have betrayed the trust you have sworn to your spouse and in God's name.
There are many things you should focus on saving a marriage after an act of infidelity. In the end, it all depends on those involved. It's either they are or are not willing to save their marriage based on their love and dedication.
For info about marriage counselors: Marriage Counselor
Check out this for additional help overcoming problems in marriage: Problems with Marriage
